That Guy

published by The Honest Ulsterman

You know that guy,

calls himself the one-eyed artist
but wears lensless glasses. In fact

has 20/20 vision, maybe more;
he can see things others can’t –

stolen glances and the like
from every woman in the room.

You know that guy,

sniffles after bathroom breaks,
flakes of dandruff in his moustache;

does a 14-hour lockdown rave
and feels just fine the next day;

strongly immune, he doesn’t get sick,
he – sniff – looks after himself.

You know that guy,

coffee-free because that’s the worst drug really,
against waking to the usual things –

don’t you know monogamy’s a lie designed
by a society afraid to die alone?

Once said my poetry was a bit…round,
needs a synthesizer in the background.

You know, that guy.